Changes!

Wow, 2009. Seems very very long ago. I came back to this blog by chance. I saw a friend's wife's blog, and remembered mine, and had to struggle to get logged back in. I posted twice. That's dedication there. :)
Since that last post, I am no longer in nursing school. but not because I graduated, unfortunately. My life took a completely different & unexpected path. But all for the better, I know God knows what he's doing with me.
I honestly don't know where to start, so I'll start with the first major change since then, that led my life to a happier, more complete person. Around July or August of 2009, things between me & my boyfriend, Jack, got pretty miserable. I actually took a full-time position at Palmetto Health Richland in June, and worked as much as school allowed once I was off orientation. At the time of my last post, I was a Medical Assistant at Southern Surgical part-time due to Nursing School, worked every other weekend at LMC Family Practice, and every Saturday night at The Skyline Club as a waitress. I was also in my first semester of clinicals. I had to give up Southern Surgical because they needed me back full-time once their new office was completed, and my school hours during the week were only going to increase. So, I interviewed at both Lexington ER & Richland ER, and the environment seemed 10x better at Richland, the pay was better & they were responsible for saving my life in 2004. It seemed perfect for me. I only worked at LMC Family Practice until July or so because of my weekend requirements at Richland, but I kept on rocking the Skyline every Saturday night.
So, at this point in my life, I was dating Jack, renting a home in Lexington, next door to my Gram and cousin Susie, working at Richland & Skyline and second semester of Nursing School.
Then, back to where I started, things got bad with Jack and I. He couldn't keep a job, was lazy, we fought a lot. Mostly one-sided fighting because he never fought back. I was ready to settle down and know that I wasn't wasting all these years with someone that was never going to get me anywhere. He was basically dragging me down. Then, one night at the Skyline, things started changing.

I knew this guy, back from when I was 17-18 years old. I was working at Sonic, he was in high school. He drove a big Bronco, and would come almost every day to eat at Sonic while on his lunch break from school. We always talked, flirted. One day in 2004, his friend asked me if I would go to the prom with him. I was dating a guy named Ricky, but we were very rocky, so I told him yes. I snuck away one afternoon to go prom dress shopping with the Bronco boy, Steven. We picked out a dress (blue, I think) and he was to find a coordinating tux. We talked a few times on the phone but never had a chance to hang out again. I wrecked April 9th, just a few weeks before the prom & I never talked to him again. I never had the chance to break up with Ricky, and he now became a primary care giver to me while I was on the long road from a trauma patient to a human being again. Ricky proposed that following September, but things never changed. We broke up, I moved on, but never talked to my prom date again, although I thought of him randomly. I met Jack, we dated a few years... then one night in August 2009 at the Skyline, after seeing him several times throughout the years there, I decided to talk to Steven. I simply said, "Do you remember me?" after asking him, of course, if he needed anything, he was sitting in my section with a girl, so I had to find an excuse to talk to him if she was his girlfriend. He said, "Uh... Meagan, right?" I smiled, he hugged me, and we talked. The conversation led to me having a boyfriend, and him being burned by his. He thought he was the father of her child, but at 8 months, found out otherwise. I could tell it was fresh and it hurt him. The bouncers were kicking the customers out, so he hugged me, and said "If you ever wanna get rid of that boyfriend, let me know." IT MADE MY NIGHT. I'm not sure if it was the following weekend, or a few weekends later, but he came back. He asked me dance, we did, and I knew this boy had to be mine. I could not get him off of my mind... And yes, I was still dating Jack. Jack & Steven hung out some in high school, so I told Jack about Steven. Not that we danced, but about our history and I ran into him again. The night after the dance, once I got home, I logged into MySpace (cool, right?) and found him. I got the guts to shoot him a little message. I don't remember what it said, the first message seems to be missing on MySpace, but something along the lines of thanking him for the dance, glad we finally talked. It was like 3am, and he wrote me back within minutes and I WAS SO EXCITED. He seen it on his phone. The next message back, he gave me his number, I waited a few days, texted him, and that's where it all started. We went on our first date to see Final Destination while Jack & I were still together. I soon learned Jack & I were not going to make it, Steven made me so happy, and I kicked Jack out, shortly there after, we broke up for good. I stayed single about a month. While I was "single", Steven and I did everything together. We went to Tennesse together, spent almost every day together, he spent the night a few times. He finally "asked me out" at Midstate Mudd Bogg, September 26th, 2009. Things were great 100% of the time. Honestly. Never in my life had I been so happy with everything in my life. I never officially asked him to move in, I just always asked him to stay with me, so one day, we got his stuff, and he never left. :) Then June 2009, we hit a small rough spot, but it came with a HUGE blessing. On August 20th, 2010, we found out we were pregnant!!!! Scared, shocked, excited, nervous, you name it, we felt it. I told him, let him soak it in, went outside and called my brother's girlfriend, and mother to my niece, Jessica to ask her what to do! They had just went through the whole pregnant out of wedlock thing, so I needed advice. It was the ONE thing I said I would never do. After all, I had been on the same birth control since I was 16. I was going through a lot around this time in my life too, and just had a facial surgery and was on antibiotics previously. We went to my brother's house that weekend, he told Jesse. Then he told his friend Johnny. Not too many people knew for a while because we had yet to tell our parents. We took another trip to Tennessee with his parents in September, all while keeping our little secret. We had our first ultrasound on 09-20-2010, and once we knew everything was ok with "Baby Wingard" we told our parents on 09-22. Then we let the world know!!

I couldn't imagine being a happier girl. Previous to this, since our rocky spot in June, we had been talking about getting married. We looked at rings, but Steven's credit was terrible and he couldn't get approved (so I thought) so he had to start saving money. I knew we wouldn't be engaged anytime soon, now that there was baby on the way, we would never save enough money. I wasn't able to do much for his birthday because I had just had surgery, so I went shopping for our one year anniversary, and thought I should go big. I bought him a ps3 with a game or 2, and just knew I would have one up on him. The night before our anniversary, I was working the Saturday night (25th) at the Skyline. Steven had been at the go-cart track racing, and showed up late. When he came in, I knew he was up to something. He disappeared, and when I saw him later, I tried to follow him, and he begged me not to. I needed new speakers for my Jeep, so I thought he was talking with a friend about getting them for my gift, I swear I thought he went outside. Later on, after midnight, now September 26th, I hear the band, Anybody's Guess call my name to the stage. I thought, surely not me. They said it again, shined a spotlight on me, so I walked on up. I had no idea where Steven was, and I was truely embarrassed. Next thing I see is Steven walking out from behind a huge speaker on the stage. He grabs a microphone, jumps down to the floor was I was standing in front of the band, empty dancefloor, the ENTIRE bar is watching at this point, spotlights and all. He hits one knee and holds out the most beautiful ring I HAVE EVER seen and asks me to marry him!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so shocked I couldn't even answer. I grabbed him, cried, and we danced. I don't even remember the song at this moment. Now, I am officially the happiest girl in the world. He had the ring all along. He knew that Moseley's was going to finance him, he just wanted to propose on our one year anniversary. He had a game plan, but baby surprise just happen to come first. So much for having one up on him with the PS3. And he also bought my speakers for the Jeep. :) My prince charming. Seriously.

At this point, I was in my 3rd semester on clinicals at school, and my life was CRAZY hectic. I was still working full-time nights at Richland, every Saturday night at the Skyline. I wasn't doing so well in my 3rd semester. My grades kept getting worse & worse. I didn't have time to be a full-time student anymore. I failed my 3rd semester miserably. But I was so happy. The biggest decisions of my life were now ahead of me. We originally planned a June 2011 wedding, but decided we wanted to be married before the baby came & before I was huge. In November 2010, we decided on a January 2011 wedding simply from the available dates at our venue. I had to plan this wedding in next to no time. And I did. January 29th, 2011. It was amazing. It went by so quick, and I was just starting to show. You can't even see my belly in most of the pictures. No honeymoon, no time, and I was pregnant, so no fun. We still have yet to have an official one, although we took a trip to Orlando, FL with the baby for our 1 Year Anniversary and it was the best vacation I have ever had. While I was planning this wedding, finishing up my 3rd semester, working full time, and growing a baby, we were trying to buy a house for our new family. In January, right before we got married, we found "the" house. We did months of paperwork among other bull, and closed on March 31st, 2011. My baby was due in less than a month. We moved in the following weekend, and unpacked for about a week or so. I was so in love with my life, my husband, my house, my unborn baby.

I was very big towards the end of my pregnancy. I didn't gain weight at all early on. I was about 22 weeks before I gained any weight, and it made my doctor nervous. I had no appetite. But I made up for it at the end. I gained 35 lbs total with pregnancy, and actually lost a few pounds before it was over. Around 35-36 weeks I was already dilating and effacing. Each week I progressed more and more, and the doctors were in fear that I may go in preterm labor. I was told at 36 weeks to go light duty at work, which means no work at all in the ER, and I wasn't ready to go on leave. At 37 weeks, I was 2-3 cm and 50% effaced. The doctor was NOT okay with this, and begged me to stop working. This was also the week we were to close on our house and I had a lot to do. So I called work and told them the news. So, I was out of work for 3 weeks before my due date of April 21st. I was forced to pick an end date, meaning induction. My doctor was on call from the 22-24th, so we picked the 22nd. 40 weeks, 1 day. None of the doctors in the office thought I would make it, and neither did I, so induction wasn't a big deal to me. The week from 39-40 I was so miserable. I went to the doctor 3-4 times in one week, had to be admitted for observation, and they tried to induce me early. I waited it out, knowing baby boy would come on his own. No such luck. At 5:30 in the morning of April 22nd, 2011 , Good Friday, we were on our way to Lexington Medical Center to be induced. After hours of Pitocin, with no progression, I ended up going into the operating room for a cesarean section around 3:30pm. It was a horrific experience with a lot of complications. But our son, Brantlee Masyn Wingard was born at 3:51pm, weighing in at 10lbs even, and 21" long with a 14" head. He was doing great, other than "wet lungs", so he was struggling to keep his O2 sats up, and a little problem regulating his temperature. Mama on the other hand was not in good shape. I lost a lot of blood during the section, actually starting hemorrhaging, and I could feel a lot more of the surgery than I should have, we found out later the spinal anesthesia was leaking out, so I wasn't getting the drugs to the part of my body needed to block the pain. After Masyn was shown to me, handed off to Steven, and Steven was escorted out of the room, I was put to sleep to be put back together. I was crying histerically during the whole procedure, and I was scared for my life. I knew something was wrong, and I wondered if I would ever see my beautiful new family again. I was finally put in recovery for hours with no pain control. I was given morphine that wasn't working, so I woke up from anesthesia screaming in pain. They tried everything, eventually switched drugs. I made it to my room around 8pm, saw my son around 8:30pm. I was so drugged up, I don't remember it at all, and I couldn't stay awake to mother him. I had to be assisted in nursing him because I couldn't stay awake. The following days got better. We spent our 1st Easter in the hospital and was discharged the next day, Monday the 25th. I had a very low hemoglobin of 7.1, and was given the option to stay for blood transfusion, but I just wanted to go home with my boys.

Everything went pretty much as imagined. Except I ended up with a seroma in my section incision that had to be packed twice a day. My queasy "I don't do blood" husband became my home health nurse and did a GREAT job. Although a complication no one wants, it allowed me to stay home with my baby boy for 12 weeks!! I was home a total of 15 weeks before I returned to good ol' Richland. Right before I was released, my husband lost his $30+/hr job at UPS after 8 years, and he was solely providing for our family, so I was devastated. We were in danger of losing everything, from our new house, to our vehicles, to EVERYTHING. We had some help from my mom and my grandma, but we are STILL behind, almost a year later. He was unemployed for almost 2 months, and I couldn't work much overtime due to breastfeeding. Steven had to take a sucky paying job but at least it was work. Due to the fact he had free insurance at UPS, I now had to start paying for family coverage at Richland. Which means I had to stay full-time, which means I could not go back to school. I just thought things would get better for us so I could return, but never did, and my time ran out at Midlands Tech, so I lost my spot in school and now have to start over if I ever want to finish again. But we managing. We are happy. My baby boy will be 11 months in 2 days, and we have a huge 1st Birthday Blowout planned. We are struggling to pay bills, but life can't always be about money.

Speaking of, my little moster is up from his nap, so it is time to go outside and play! It's March and over 80 degrees. It's nice right now, but it's going to be one HOT summer!!! Also, it's the 1st Day of Spring! Gotta love it!!

Until next time....